


a group chat fic unoriginally titled 'group chat'

by melonpen



Category: Houdini & Doyle (TV)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, Gen, No I'm Not Tagging It As A Modern AU And You Can't Stop Me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:42:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26105914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melonpen/pseuds/melonpen
Summary: Harry makes a group chat because he has no impulse control. Adelaide is not amused. Arthur is perhaps a bit amused.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 3





	1. the beginning, a very good place to start

**[Monday, 8:13 PM]**

the best magician of all time _has created a chat._

the best magician of all time _has added:_ dilf, addy ;)

the best magician of all time _has renamed the chat:_ crimesolving trio unite

addy ;) _has renamed_ addy ;) _to_ Stratton

the best magician of all time: your probably wondering why i have brought you all here

the best magician of all time: wait addy no

Stratton: Harry, this is really a breach of professionality

the best magician of all time: i’d like to breach your professionality ;)))))

dilf: Harry!

Stratton _has removed:_ Stratton

the best magician of all time _has added:_ Stratton

the best magician of all time: i was kidding!!!! don’t leave :(

Stratton _has removed:_ Stratton

the best magician of all time _has added:_ Stratton

the best magician of all time: cmon! this will be great for talking to each other about crimes! rightttttttttttt????????

the best magician of all time: WAIT

the best magician of all time _has added:_ Mustache Man TM.

dilf: Sergeant?

Mustache Man TM: I’m sorry, who is this?

Stratton _has removed:_ Mustache Man TM

Stratton: I. Am going to Murder you.

the best magician of all time: :D

dilf: How do you change names?

the best magician of all time: [thats-a-surprise-tool.jpg]

dilf: What does that mean.

dilf: Ms. Stratton?

**[Tuesday, 12:35 PM]**

dilf _has renamed the chat:_ crime-solving trio unite

dilf: It needed to be hyphenated.

the best magician of all time: are you

the best magician of all time: are you not going to change your name

dilf: why would I?

Stratton: God allow me to die

the best magician of all time: shushhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Stratton: Don’t shush me asshole

the best magician of all time: rude :((((((((((

dilf: Language! Would you like to tell me what it means now?

the best magician of all time: no

**[Tuesday, 8:12 PM]**

dilf _has renamed_ dilf _to_ Arthur

Arthur: Harry.

Arthur: Harry, I can see you read this.

the best magician of all time: who told you?

Arthur: Mary.

the best magician of all time: oh

the best magician of all time: oh no

the best magician of all time: your mad arent you

**[Tuesday, 1:35 AM]**

Arthur: *You’re *Aren’t

the best magician of all time: correction, VERY mad

Arthur: I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed in you.

the best magician of all time: THATS WORSE AND YOU KNOW IT

Stratton: Please go to bed

Arthur: Ah, apologies Constable.

the best magician of all time: I want to complain about this purely to be opposed to artie

Arthur: Do not call me that.

the best magician of all time: but he’s right, you deserve better than waking up to 99+ notifications addie dear

the best magician of all time: so I will do as you bid

Arthur: Wow, not a single comment about your bedmate? I’m frankly impressed.

the best magician of all time: and stop keeping my lovely lady friend waiting ;)

Arthur: There it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes I'm making a chat fic for a tiny dead fandom, none of you can stop me. anyway this has no plot its just whatever I find funniest. and that includes that while you can imagine this as a modern au if you want, I think its infinitely better to picture this as the 1900s but with cellphones and memes and I'm going to lean into that


	2. what the fuck arthur

**[Saturday, 7:35 AM]**

Arthur: Blood?

Arthur: How to get blood out of clothing?

the best magician of all time: ???

Stratton: This isn’t google Doyle

Arthur: I know.

the best magician of all time: ??????????

Arthur: I just thought you two might know.

the best magician of all time: IM NOT A FUCKING SERIAL KILLER DOYLE

Arthur: With the amount of blood I’ve seen come out of your body you ought to know!

Arthur: Take better care of yourself, Harry!

the best magician of all time: hey this is not time for an intervention this is time for you to tell me you’re not a serial killer

Arthur: I’m not a serial killer.

the best magician of all time: suspicious answer

Arthur: It’s for my writing.

the best magician of all time: OHHH SURE yeah that’s what a bestselling serial killer offer would say!!

Arthur: *Author

Arthur: Nevermind.

the best magician of all time: nuh uh I’m not letting this go

the best magician of all time: addie what’s ur opinion on this matter anyway

**[Saturday, 7:41 AM]**

Stratton _has created a Private Message with_ Arthur.

Stratton: Use cold water and hydrogen peroxide by hand. This is assuming its soon after though

Arthur: Yes. Thank you.

Stratton: Your daughter started her period didnt she?

Arthur: Yes…

Stratton: If that girl asks for chocolate give it to her.

Stratton: And if you tell that twelve year old she’s becoming a woman Im going to strangle you

Arthur: That’s fair.

Arthur: Really, thank you.

Stratton _has deleted this Private Message._

**[Saturday, 7:46 AM]**

_[crime-solving trio unite]_

Stratton: I think you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up

the best magician of all time: 1) we stan a secret meme queen 2) wow uncalled for

Stratton: I have no clue what you’re talking about. I just hate you.

the best magician of all time: >:0

Stratton: I’m going back to bed because its before nine on a weekend, I think you all should too

the best magician of all time: imagine thinking nine was sleeping in late

Stratton: Good luck on covering up a murder, Doyle

Arthur: At this rate they’ll never find the body!

the best magician of all time: ASDFGHJKLZXCVB

the best magician of all time _has renamed_ Arthur _to_ ted bundy but not a dick

ted bundy but not a dick _has renamed_ the best magician of all time _to_ Masochist

ted bundy but not a dick: Two can play at that game. (:

Masochist: i am not!!!!!!

Masochist: wait

Masochist: addie

Masochist: addie how did you lock the names

Masochist: ur not even the creator of this chat

Stratton: [modern_problems_require_modern_solutions.jpg]

ted bundy but not a dick: What. 

Masochist: well cant argue with that logic


End file.
